Rather, it involves loving yourself without a mate.
Lots of people have a tendency to fear breakups because of their fear of being alone; conquering this fear is a key to breaking the pattern of bad dating.
That young and insecure girl is still part of me, but I have outgrown her beliefs and have created more powerful and sustainable ones.
I appreciate her experiences because I have gained so much from them and have used them to help others.
Breaking the Early Patterns As you mature and grow, you may recognize that you want a different kind of partner in your adult life.
To know yourself is the first step to gaining the ability to acknowledge and recognize similar patterns in relationships -- and to avoid them.
If you examine closely, I bet you'll see a resemblance between these toxic personalities to the earliest relationship you had with the opposite sex: usually, your mother or father.You've been dating the same type of guy or gal for years -- controlling, dominating, manipulative -- and you can't seem to break the pattern.Your friends are constantly asking: "Why are you always drawn to these type of people, when they make you so unhappy?Ironically, the very behaviors you engage in to get into a healthy, loving, committed relationship do just the opposite, leaving you in tremendous pain and feeling like you’re destined to be alone forever.Looking back at the wreckage of your relationship history, you’ll know if it’s time to cleanse your dating palate of the chaotic and destructive patterns that have gotten you to where you are, overwhelmed by loneliness and afraid you’ll be perpetually single.If you feel like you missed the class that taught everything you needed to know about dating and you just can’t make these things called relationships work, you may be stuck in some unhealthy romantic patterns.These default strategies can often kick in without us even knowing it — from the moment those first crushy feelings arise and take hold until the relationship inevitably crashes and burns and sometimes beyond, making it difficult to get over a guy and move on with your dating life.After not being able to endure the pain of those disappointing experiences, I began to wake up to the common denominator in those relationships—me.What was it about me that kept me thinking I was getting the pizza I ordered only to keep having the wrong one delivered?When this pattern finally becomes too ridiculous, those following it go one of two ways: they settle for someone who doesn't really make them all that happy or they give up on love entirely, concluding that all romantic comedies and Shakespearean plays are essentially full of crap.This type of loving yourself doesn't involve battery operated toys or stocking up on hand lotions.